Earlier this week, my wife and I went to Las Vegas for (ostensibly) a three day mini-vacation. While there, we had the best dining experience of our lives, met Louie Anderson, and concluded the trip by saying that we never need to go back.
For starters, the whole trip came about because when we got our car it came with the option of an inexpensive vacation (for approximately an extra $1 per payment). We opted to go with it since it didn't cost much and we didn't have to commit to anything. The vacation was arranged through
Travel America and the
Diamond Getaway Package. Word of advice: avoid working through this system. While we didn't lose money, we wasted a lot of time trying to book the trip. The fact that it took nearly two years to arrange the trip with them should tell you something. Dates are limited, the available dates are poor, the window to book is small and the website is essentially useless. Furthermore, the dates got shifted on us after we thought it was finalized and my wife had to jump through hoops to get an extra day off.
With the obnoxious booking experience behind us, we resolved to not let it sour our time away. Turns out it didn't matter.
Let's get the good stuff out first.
Our love of food convinced us of the need to experience haute cuisine so we booked a dinner with
Alizé at the top of the
Palms Casino Resort. It was an incredible dinner. To (sort of) quote Ferris Bueller, if you have the means, I highly recommend you experience a place like that at least once.
The other enjoyable part was getting to meet
Louie Anderson and attending his show. He's a very nice guy (or was to us, at least) and his act was much funnier than I anticipated. I heard a bunch of his routines back in the 80s and 90s, and I was glad to hear he didn't rehash it all. He had a good rapport with the audience, but did look a bit tired at times and seemed a little more bitter than I remember him. Still, we laughed a lot and enjoyed ourselves.
Now, the not-so-good...
We got to meet Louie because we got free VIP tickets to his show for participating in a timeshare presentation. Yes, I know, you're rolling your eyes but bear with me. We were well aware of what we were getting ourselves into. We didn't end up buying anything (no surprise there) but it took up more time than we thought.
It was after the timeshare presentation that things really went downhill (notwithstanding the show). We went for a walk to the
In-N-Out burger -- not all dining experiences have to be extravagant -- and realized just how hostile the city is to walking. The sidewalks twist and turn away from the roads and look like they go nowhere; planning a walk requires you do lots of exploring first (much like planning a vacation with Diamond Getaways).
On top of that, the city is ugly. The architecture, such as it is, consists of gaudy imitation buildings and haphazard empty spaces to keep structures away from the four to eight lane streets; fifteen metres of crushed rock from the curb to the parking lot peppered with litter hardly counts as attractive.
Aside from Alizé and (oddly enough) In-N-Out Burger, the food was poor and over-priced. Typical prices were about $30 for a meagre breakfast for two with the functional ambiance of dining in a ditch (here's looking at you,
Sherwood Forest Cafe). We went to a seemingly nice place in the
Luxor on our last night there and were uninterested. It was less impressive than The Keg with higher prices and more mechanical service.
We did find cheap food but meant going to some
sketchy places.
Most importantly, the majority of people who work there come off an insincere. It's like they have the notion of making you feel welcome and comfortable in order get your money backwards: first we'll do all we can to get money from you then we'll see what we can do about getting you to find something enjoyable.
That and the constant solicitation. The street vendors handing out cards for escort services were actually the
least annoying of them all: they just stand there, slap cards against their hands and hold the cards out for you to take. The timeshare headhunters, on the other hand, are on you every waking moment. We must have been bothered by them upwards of 50 times in a 7 hour stretch. Furthermore, they will chase you down until you start walking briskly.
Neither one of us came away very happy with the city. We aren't interested in gambling, the shows are pricey and the people are either unpleasant, uninterested or drunk. We have no desire to go back.